- ”As God is my Judge, I am not guilty!” “He’s not, I am and your are!”
- “I can identify my client’s father... he’s the man at the back of the court holding his crutch.”
- Solicitor applying for bail... “As murders go, this was not a bad one...”
- “This case is so one sided, I am surprised to find the evidence is printed on both sides of the paper.”
- (magistrate) “You are fined £15! How will you pay? ” (Defendant)“£5 a week.” (Magistrate) “That is not good enough, you will pay the whole fine in 28 days!”
- A solicitor explaining to Selby Magistrate why his client was not driving carelessly... “He may in fact have slightly fallen asleep...”
- Solicitor’s telegram to his client from the court on hearing the verdict “Justice has triumphed!” Client’s urgent response “Appeal at once!”
- Prosecuting solicitor addressing the bench “I appear for the prosecution... my friend, Mr Williams appears for the money...”
- Judge sentencing a vagrant for public drunkenness... “You must serve fourteen days, and if you take my advice, when you are released you will never touch alcohol again... not even a teeny weeny sherry.”
- Lawyer:- “How many autopsies have you performed on dead people?” Doctor:- “Well, all of them...”
”As God is my Judge, I am not guilty!” “He’s not, I am and your are!”
Solicitor applying for bail… “As murders go, this was not a bad one…”
(magistrate) “You are fined £15! How will you pay? ”
(Defendant)“£5 a week.”
(Magistrate) “That is not good enough, you will pay the whole fine in 28 days!”
Solicitor’s telegram to his client from the court on hearing the verdict “Justice has triumphed!”
Client’s urgent response “Appeal at once!”
Judge sentencing a vagrant for public drunkenness… “You must serve fourteen days, and if you take my advice, when you are released you will never touch alcohol again… not even a teeny weeny sherry.”
“I can identify my client’s father… he’s the man at the back of the court holding his crutch.”
“This case is so one sided, I am surprised to find the evidence is printed on both sides of the paper.”
A solicitor explaining to Selby Magistrate why his client was not driving carelessly… “He may in fact have slightly fallen asleep…”
Prosecuting solicitor addressing the bench “I appear for the prosecution… my friend, Mr Williams appears for the money…”
Lawyer:- “How many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”
Doctor:- “Well, all of them…”
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